Tips from the Queen of Rejection®

How not to take rejection and disappointment so personally in your personal and professional relationships

The Case of the Missing Apology

Aug 31, 2023

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Elayne Savage, PhD

Lately lots of political name-calling and finger-pointing and blaming and shaming. Folks taking things personally and retaliating by lashing out. But have you noticed apologies seem to be missing – along with stepping up and taking responsibility for often outrageous…
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Categories: Anger, Anxiety, Apology, apology, Avoidance, Blame/Blaming, Blind spots, Blind Spots, choices, denial, Gaslighting, Gaslighting, Harassment, Lashing Out, name-calling, options, Politics, Psychologial Projection, psychological projection, Rejection, retaliation, Shame, Taking Personally, taking responsibility, Violence, threats of violence
The Big-time Influence of Personal Boundaries

Jul 31, 2023

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Elayne Savage, PhD

Personal boundary confusion is a challenge for many of us, especially if we grew up in a family where there was a lack of clear boundaries often leading to disrespect and shame. Boundary confusion can be especially problematic in the…
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Categories: Abortion, Anxiety, boundary confusion, Communication, disrespect, Disrespect, emotional boundaries, ethical boundaries, Family, intellectual boundaries, money boundaries, Personal Boundaries, personal boundaries, Rejection, Rejection, Respect, Responsibility/Taking Responsibility, sexual boundaries, Shame, shame, shame/shaming, social boundaries, Style Differences, Taking Personally, Workplace
The Supreme Court’s Decision to Impede Young Minds

Jun 30, 2023

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Elayne Savage, PhD

The Supreme Court’s decision to effectively end race-conscious admissions is especially having an effect on me. Scary memories of intimidation by the Klan with the integration of the University of Alabama.
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Categories: Affirmative Action, Current Affairs, Dean John L. Blackburn, Django Unchained Movie, Fear, Gov. George Wallace. prejudice and discrimination, Harassment, Klu Klux Klan, marginalized, Supreme Court, Supreme Court, University of Alabama
Trying to Feel Safe but Old Fears Keep Assaulting Me

Apr 30, 2023

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Elayne Savage, PhD

I like to think of myself as pretty fearless and gutsy but not so much with all the news of smash-and-grabs, assaults and shootings. My PTSD-like visceral response comes from old fears when I was a Child Protective Social Worker…
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Categories: Anxiety, Assaults PTSD. Fight, Danger, Fawn, Fear, Fear, Flight, Guns, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Resilience, Safety, Safety and Security, Security, Self-care, Shootings, Stress, Trauma, Trust
Wearing Victimhood As a Badge of Honor

Mar 31, 2023

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Elayne Savage, PhD

Donald Trump is talented at using his own painful feelings of victimhood to bond with the public. When we feel inadequate we might puff ourselves up to bully size. He learned how to be an expert bulliy from being bullied…
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Categories: Abortion, Acceptance/Self-Acceptance, bully behavior, bullying, Bullying, calls for and threats of violence, Current Affairs, Disappointments, Disrespect, Dissed, Donald Trump, Donald Trump indictment, Fairness and Injustice, Loyalty/Betrayal, Politics, Power and Control, Rejection, Rejection, Respect, Self-esteem, Self-rejection, taking personally, Taking Personally, victim stance, Victimhood, victim stance, Violence, threats of violence
In the Spirit of Teamwork

Feb 28, 2023

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Elayne Savage, PhD

Hakeem Jefferies and Keven McCarthy are teaming up to create a bipartisan task force to ensure due process on House committee removal. Moving forward from the past two years of punishing legislators by removing them from committee assignments. Teamwork usually…
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Categories: Communication, conflict resolution, Conflict resolution, Current Affairs, direct communication, Hakeem Jeffries, House of Representatives, Kevin McCarthy, Listened to, Heard, and Understood, negotiation, persuasion, Politics, Rejection, Relationships, Resentment, resentment, respect, Respect, Style Differences, Taking Personally, Teamwork, teamwork, Voter Suppression, Workplace