Tips from the Queen of Rejection®

How not to take rejection and disappointment so personally in your personal and professional relationships

When Rejection Leads to Self-rejection and Feels Like Shame

Feb 29, 2024

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by

Elayne Savage, PhD

The sting of rejection often morphs into self-rejection and shame. One way of dealing is reminding yourself “This is only embarrassment not shame”can make a difference in how we deal with the pain of taking something personally.
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Categories: Acceptance/Self-Acceptance, Bullying, Congressional discord and chaos, Corrective Emotional Experiences, guilt, Listened to, Heard, and Understood, Losing Face, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Rejection, Rejection, Safety and Security, Saving Face, Saving Face and Losing Face, Self-appreciation, Self-rejection, self-rejection, Shame, shame, shame/shaming, taking personally, Taking Personally
The Pied Piper of Mar-a-Lago

Jan 31, 2024

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by

Elayne Savage, PhD

Reading descriptions of the most common traits of world-famous cult leaders it’s difficult to miss seeing the many similarities with Donald J. Trump and Trumpism – especially his exaggerated sense of power (entitlement) that allows him to bend rules and…
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Categories: atrocity, massacre, mass killing, Betrayal, cult, Cult, Cult leader characteristics, Cult of Trump, Current Affairs, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Mar-a-Lago, Pied Piper, Politics, Power and Control, Power and Control, Sense of Entitlement, Trumpism, Trumpism
CHOOSING KINDNESS

Dec 31, 2023

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by

Elayne Savage, PhD

As a way of finding some balance for myself in a chaotic and disturbing world I find my self seeking exalmples of kindness.. Seems there has been so much unkindness, and even mean-spiritedness and even hostility and even retaliation out…
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Categories: Acceptance, Acceptance/Self-Acceptance, Compassion, Compassion, Kindness, Kindness, Listened to, Heard, and Understood, Self-compassion
Seeking Respect in a Dissing Kind of World

Nov 30, 2023

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by

Elayne Savage, PhD

Respect is the backbone of relationships — personal, workplace, and as we see now, political. Lately I’m noticing that respect has become frayed and tattered and torn and sometimes practically non-existent. Misunderstandings and hurt feelings and anger and resentment seem…
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Categories: anger, Anxiety, Blind spots, bullying, Bullying, Communication, Couples, Current Affairs, demonizing, disrespect, Disrespect, Dissed, hurt feelings, isomorphism, Isomorphism/parallel Process/social contagion, parallel process, Personal Boundaries, Politics, Psychologial Projection, psychological projection, Rejection, Relationships, resentment, respect, Respect, Taking Personally, volatile, aggressive, threatening,scary behavior, weaponizing . taking persoally
A Very Scary Protest

Oct 31, 2023

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by

Elayne Savage, PhD

It’s stunning to me how quickly a recent scary situation can bring up long-ago childhood fearful memories.
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Categories: Anger, anti-Semitism, anxiety, Anxiety, atrocity, massacre, mass killing, Fear, Gaza, Hamas, Islamophobia, Israelis, Jews, Muslims, Palestinians, Rage, Safety and Security, Stress, Trauma, volatile, aggressive, threatening,scary behavior
When Apologies are Non-apologies

Sep 30, 2023

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by

Elayne Savage, PhD

Apologies are difficult so many of us make a non-apology – full of justifications, excuses and rationalizations for very unclassy, hurtful, denigrating, and often intentionally mean-for-meanness-sake behavior.
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Categories: apology, Apology, Blame/Blaming, Conflict resolution, Dissed, excuses, Harassment, justification, non-apology, Politics, rationalization, Rejection, Relationships, Taking Personally, vulnerability