Prison: An Unlikely Place for Finding Freedom

Apr 21, 2015

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By Elayne Savage, PhD

So much is in the news lately about Criminal Justice, death row and lethal injections – even bringing back electric chairs, gas chambers and firing squads. And yet, there are also stories about exonerations and even stray cats in prisons.

I find myself flashing back to my early prison experiences – I’ve wanted to write about these for a long time, and I’d love to share these images with you.

When Taking Things Personally Leads to Jail Time

A few years ago I was presenting skill-building workshops within the walls of San Quentin State Prison. The series was on what I know best: how not to take rejection and disappointment so personally. This voluntary Success Programs’ skill-building course was presented to highly motivated medium security inmates. Most of them were in for non-violent crimes — such as stealing to support their addictions.

I really enjoyed working with these men and learned much from them sharing their taking-things-personally experiences. As I became a familiar face I was invited to enter the dorm without an escort and announce class on the loud speaker. This group of regulars immediately gathered around me. As we crossed the yard to the classroom I couldn’t help but have an image of collecting my ducklings!

I noticed something rather striking during my time in San Quentin: inmates confided they have more freedom to be themselves inside prison then they did on the outside. I could see it in class – they were free to offer comfort to each other, to put their arms around each other.

What an eye-opener this was for me. Imagine. Having more freedom behind bars!.

They would talk about how being on the inside gave them the rules and structure they didn't have on the outside. And they say they function better with this feeling of safety to be themselves.

My book ‘Don’t Take It Personally!’ was popular reading from the prison library and I could tell they ‘got’ the message of the book and workshops when several told me:

“If I’d understood about my early rejection and why I take things so personally, the pressure wouldn’t have led me to go out and steal for drugs.”

Alabama’s “Yellow Mama”

My first prison-related experience was decades ago on a University of Alabama Sociology class field trip to the State prison. That was the day I volunteered to sit in the brightly painted wooden electric chair, “Yellow Mama.” I thought getting to sit in it was a lark until the guards recounted how they repaint it after each electrocution. This adventure quickly turned into something creepier than I had expected.

Wisps of this memory came floating back when I read of the recent release in Alabama of Ray Hinton, 30 years on death row and awaiting execution. New ballistics test have determined he was wrongfully convicted.

Looks like he was released just in time – Alabama is considering dusting off Yellow Mama and bringing her down from the attic to resume electrocutions.

Exoneration of the Wrongfully Incarcerated

You have probably heard of the Innocence Project, which Barry Scheck and Peter Neufeld founded 20 years ago to arrange DNA testing that can prove wrongful convictions.

Once inmates are exonerated and released, however, they often have no usable skills in a society that has changed greatly over those years of incarceration.

So about 10 years ago, a handful of us met in Human Rights Advocate Lola Vollen’s living room to start the Life After Exoneration Program (LAEP.)

We began developing resources for rebuilding lives of prisoners who had been exonerated but had no real skills to face the outside world. We began the process of arranging support services: housing, employment, computer skills and access to medical care. You can read about the program in the link below.

I’ve wanted to share these stories with you for a long time but couldn’t figure out a way to tie them together. The Alabama exoneration provides a connecting thread. Now there is a new story that is crying out to be included.

Shelter Cats Find Freedom Behind Bars

Have you read the touching article about the stray cats at Pendleton Correctional Facility in Indiana? A new program has 12 previously caged animal shelter cats roaming free in the prison office. They are often found on the climbing structures built by prisoners or curled up in the laps of the prisoners who come in to care for them.

Cat duty “is one of the best parts of my week,” prisoner Charles Barker offers. “It’s very therapeutic. After I did this a couple times, you spend your off days wishing you could go back.”

“It’s kind of ironic that these cats had to come to prison to have some freedom,” says another prisoner, Barry Matlock.

Yep. That's the truth! Cats . . . and humans, too.

Have you, too, had experiences with the prison system?

What are your thoughts, ideas about exoneration?

What do you think of the stray-cats-in-prison story?

More about the cats getting a new home:

http://www.heraldbulletin.com/news/local_news/stray-cats-get-new-home-at-pendleton-prison/article_6aa78f61-ab02-5809-8481-532472c7780f.html

More about the Life After Exoneration Program:

http://www.exonerated.org/

More about the release of Alabama prisoner:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/state-lacks-evidence-frees-man-30-years-death-30093821

Until next time,

Elayne

Elayne Savage is the author of ground-breaking relationship books published in 9 languages.

Both books are now available on Kindle!  

To order DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! THE ART OF DEALING WITH REJECTION

To order BREATHING ROOM — CREATING SPACE TO BE A COUPLE

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Comments

9 responses to “Prison: An Unlikely Place for Finding Freedom”

Jackie Danielson, RN, MS, LMFT

April 23, 2015

Wow. The pictures really bring it home!
It’s wonderfully incongruent to see these ‘tough guys’ petting and enjoying cats, being soft and caring, giving and receiving!
Thanks, Elayne, for this insightful piece. Your therapeutic experience is truly vast.

Reply
Deborah Lurie Edery

April 23, 2015

In the 60’s my high school friend went to an expensive prep school and became a heroin addict, stealing to support his addiction.
In lieu of prison he went to Daytop, a treatment center in New York. I often visited him there and many times sat in on groups.
I learned a lot about the misconceptions people have about addicts. The residents came from every walk of life, including my friend a momma’s boy from a “nice family.”
I learned about addictive personalities. Many of the graduates traded drugs for alcohol.
I learned that image was even more addicting than the drug —
many of the “bad-assed” tough street addicts were virgins and had never had the courage to ask a girl out.
My friend was one of the few I met who survived. He grew up to become a “pirate” of sorts. He found a life sailing ships as a captain for others. Now he dresses like a pirate (garb and tats) Different from the adorable “nice boy down the street” I used to know.
He still does not know what in his personality compelled him to become an addict. I believe that he was so babied by his mother that he struggled to find his identity and acceptance and stumbled on heroin which brought him into a world where he could be a “tough guy”.

Reply
Elayne Savage, PhD

April 23, 2015

Thanks, Jackie. I, too love seeing these ‘tough guys’ being soft and caring, giving and receiving.
This was exactly my experience of the guys in my classes at San Quentin.

Reply
Elayne Savage, PhD

April 23, 2015

Hi Deborah,
It sounds like you received a valuable “education” by staying in such close contact with your good H.S. friend.

Reply
Deborah Lurie Edery

April 23, 2015

Yes, I learned a lot about prisons back then. Many ex-prisoners return because they cannot deal with the lack of structure on the outside after so many years of institutionalization. Our troops probably experience this as well.
As a retiree I can understand the need for structure. I’m not working now and I never seem to know what day it is!
Thanks again for writing this overview about your experience with prisons.
Deborah

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Rachel Phlippone

April 30, 2015

Very uplifting and hopeful.

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Laura Pratto

May 2, 2015

Wow!

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Laura Friedeberg, LMFT

May 6, 2015

Hi Elayne
Just read your newest post.
“Boots” was incarcerated for the last several years in at the Federal Prison in Dublin, CA. He found his way there a few years ago and decided to stay because he was treated so well.
There is no formal cat program for inmates there, but over the years, there have always been a few strays. A local agency donates food.
Boots was an important part of the inmate community, allowing inmates to demonstrate compassion, caring and pro-social behaviors.
A staff member recently took him home.
This article reminded me of him.
Laura R. Friedeberg, LMFT
Developing Compassion and Resilience

Reply
Rosalie Moscoe

May 30, 2015

I’m always awed by you and your work, Elayne.
You did a good job of humanizing the prison visits – they still are people with feelings, fears and hopes and desires.
My heart breaks for prisoners wrongfully convicted, or those held longer than even their sentence. So sad, so futile.
What a trouper you are to go into a prison and perform these blessings. You did good work Elayne giving these prisoners a lift, another view of themselves and life in general.
My mother used to have a family band when she was a teenager and they went to jails in Western Canada to entertain prisoners. I’m sure that brought joy to the prisoners as well.

Thanks Elayne. Amazing work!

Reply