TIPS FROM THE QUEEN OF REJECTION®
Elayne Savage, PhD
December, 2008
Chasing Childhood Memories
By Elayne Savage, PhD
Memories are flooding back. From the moment I opened the
luminescent Holiday e-card.
Maybe it was the image of the church spire in the snow. Or the
accompanying John Lennon/Yoko Ono musical message. Or maybe
because I'm feeling especially sentimental right now.
And the memories keep coming. Each one brighter than the one
before. Superimposed. Memories of that shy, awkward six year old
in Washington, DC. Memories of my playmates Linda and Marie.
Memories of Christmas Eve Mass with their family.
Linda and Marie were sisters, about a year apart. They lived down
the block from me. Sometimes we played together.
I lived on 15th Street, NE. They were on Downing Street. At least
that's where their front door faced. Come to think of it, though,
I never used their front door. I always walked from my back alley
to their back alley. Into their back yard and through their
kitchen door.
I remember the times they invited me to Christmas Eve Mass. Now mind you,
this was way before the days of ecumenical exchanges.
So, I'd be sitting in a pew with the family. Other parishioners
would ask, "Who is this visitor?" I was introduced as the Jewish girl
from up the street. I remember the looks of surprise. That this friend
would come to their church to celebrate Christmas Eve Mass. I bet
they had never entertained a little Jewish girl at Christmas Eve Mass
before.
I've attended a few Christmas Eve Masses over the years. These are
very special to me. Mostly because I'm reminded of those DC days
sitting in church with my friends.
Special Times with a Special Family
I'll never forget the special times shared with this family.
I guess the mom was one of the 'cookie ladies" in my life. I loved the
time I spent at their house. It always smelled of freshly baked cookies.
I remember the excitement when a brand
new baby brother joined the household.
I don't think Linda and Marie came to my house much. Playmates
weren't invited into my house very often. Relatives didn't come over
either. It must have had something to do with my Mom's fears and
insecurities.
So here I am, getting all nostalgic about these childhood friends, their
mom, and the memories of Christmas Eve Mass. And then I got curious
about Linda and Marie. Maybe I can find them.
Pretty Decent Detective Work
I tried Googling them.
Would you believe their names came up in a genealogy chart? With a
birthplace listed as Washington, DC. And it mentioned a brother, Sonny.
First I tried to contact the family tree administrator. I kept running
into dead ends. I found three or four email addresses. Each came
back 'undeliverable.' I even found a phone number for him.
I tried it. Disconnected.
Then I had another idea. Why not Google the baby brother. I found
the name mentioned on a couple of music websites. But it seemed
to be very old information.
Well, let's see here. I wasn't about to give up. Hmmmmm. "Sonny" is
probably a nickname for "Junior." Back I went to the genealogy chart.
And I found their dad's name.
I tried that. Bingo.
I did a people search and found someone with that name. The birth
date listed would be about the right time. I found a name, address,
phone number. Not just for him, but for the mom, too.
I searched some more. I found what looks to be a workable email
address. I wrote. It bounced back 'undeliverable.' Another disappointment.
Then I found another email address. I wrote again. No response.
I took a deep breath, overcame any fears of rejection I might have,
and dialed the phone number. He answered. He had not received the
email. We talked a long time.
While we were talking, his sister Linda happened to phone him. He told
her about me. It's only a matter of time until I talk to Linda. And to Marie. It's possible
of course that they don't remember me. But that's OK. I remember them.
And their wonderful mom.
The mom has been living with the brother the last few years. Interestingly
the phone number I had was actually hers.
I just missed her. She died six weeks ago.
This journey to the past all started with the e-card and music from Jim Sanfilippo, the man who keeps my website going.
With his permission, I'm sending the card to you.
http://www.technicalwebsitedesign.com/misc/happyholidays_2008.htm
Another Year Over – A New One Just Begun
'So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun . . .
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear'
John Lennon and Yoko Ono's Happy Christmas from 1971
is one of my favorites.
Perhaps Jim's card and accompanying music will touch you in some way,
too. I hope so. Enjoy.
© Elayne Savage, PhD
Wishing you Happy Holidays.
Until next month.
Elayne
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Elayne Savage is the author of books published in 9 languages.
To order DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! THE ART OF DEALING
WITH REJECTION from Amazon:
http://tinyurl.com/5cg598
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A COUPLE from Amazon:
http://tinyurl.com/2e3objs
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