Will Name-calling and Lashing Out Start a War?

Sep 29, 2017

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By Elayne Savage, PhD

I don't usually scare easily, but I find worry is replacing concern and fear is replacing worry when North Korean Foreign Minister Ri Yong Ho accused our President of making "a declaration of war."

According to Reuters “Ri was reacting to our President's Twitter comments that Kim Jong Un and Ri ‘won't be around much longer.’”

And it’s scary how quickly tensions are escalating. Where is the line? When does it get crossed? When do things spin out of control?

Reuters also reports: “Bellicose statements by our President and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un in recent weeks have created fears that a miscalculation could lead to action with untold ramifications, particularly since Pyongyang conducted its sixth and most powerful nuclear test . . .”

I recognize the huge risks involved in this kind of behavior. As a psychotherapist and workplace consultant, I explore how these kinds of rejecting messages – confrontational/ threatening statements, taunts, lashing out and name-calling and – can lead to escalating tensions and taking things personally.

Flicking Sand in a Sandbox

In Don’t Take It Personally! I describe how easily behavior can escalate when two tots in a sandbox begin flicking sand at each other:

“It doesn’t take much for feelings to get hurt. A lot of times it starts in the sandbox, when one child flicks sand at another. The picked-on child feels hurt and confused. ‘Why me? What did I do? Do I just sit here and take it? Do I try to ignore it and pretend nothing happened? Or do I up the ante and flick sand back?’”

I can't think of a more apt visual to describe the flinging of taunts between Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un and our President.

I sure would feel more secure if I had a different visual image of these two leaders –– sitting at a negotiating table, showing respect and acting like grownups.

Can Insults Really Start a War?

History books describe WW I starting when decade-long tensions in Europe over the arms race, political alliances, and a growing sense of nationalism all came to a head when Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated in Sarajevo in June 1914 by a Serbian nationalist.

However there's a back story here describing how taunts and insults and taking things personally actually contributed mightily to starting the war.

Germany’s Kaiser Wilhelm II is considered by many to have provoked the outbreak of WW I because of his undisciplined rants and bitter criticisms of European leaders, several of whom were his cousins.

Here are a few Wikipedia descriptions of Wilhelm from my December 2016 blog:

bombastic and impetuous, he sometimes made tactless pronouncements on sensitive topics without consulting his ministers

critics judged Wilhelm to be completely unable to handle the great responsibilities of his position, a ruler too reckless to deal with power

seen as superficial, hasty, restless, unable to relax, without any deeper level of seriousness or sense of sobriety, for balance and boundaries, or even for reality and real problems

concerned with asserting his will. Because he was the ruler of the leading Continental power this trait was one of the main causes of the uneasiness prevailing in Europe at the turn-of-the century

If you are intrigued by Wilhelm’s colorful personality, here’s a link to my blog about him.

Did Taunts, Insults and Taking Things Personally Start WWI?

Is it my imagination or is there an uncanny personality overlay between our President and Kaiser Wilhelm II ?

Just as I’m posting this, I happened to read Bill Moyers perspective-enhancing interview with international relations historian Andrew Bacevich addressing the hurled insults between Kim Jong Un and our President : Can a War of Words Become a World of War?

(What a great title! Sure wish I had thought of it!)

I wonder if Bill Moyers and Andrew Bacevich might be feeling scared too . . .

Until next month,

Elayne

Elayne Savage is the author of ground-breaking relationship books published in 9 languages.

Both books are now available on Kindle!  

To order DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! THE ART OF DEALING WITH REJECTION

To order BREATHING ROOM — CREATING SPACE TO BE A COUPLE

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Categories: Andrew Bacevich, Bill Moyers, Current Affairs, Donald J. Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump and Trump White House, Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, Kim Jong Un, lashing out, name-calling, North Korean Foreign Minister Ri Yong Ho, Politics, Rejection, Rejection, Ridicule, taking personally, Taking Personally, taunts

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Comments

3 responses to “Will Name-calling and Lashing Out Start a War?”

Linda

September 30, 2017

Elayne,
Thanks for putting my feelings out there for me.
I am very scared and reading about your feelings and your take on all of this
helps me a great deal.

Reply
burt dubin

September 30, 2017

Scary stuff——
Somebody should shake them up and wake them up.
They are playing with combustible materials.
Is there anyone they would listen to?

Reply
Andrea B

October 1, 2017

I AM scared. Not so much for me perhaps, but for the children and unborn children of the world.
I often wonder what my dad would say about 45’s actions and comments. My dad was a die hard Republican. He did care about human rights. I am quite certain that he would be horrified and angry about the tweets and racism.
He would be worse than horrified by 45’s lack of respect and appreciation for the environment and sickened by the proposed defiling of protected lands.
He would have been especially disgusted by 45’s comments during his speech to the Scouts. I still have Dad’s Eagle Scout sash with 28 badges.
We never knew about Dad’s Bronze Star. He never discussed being an officer in WWII. Unlike 45, he wasn’t one to brag. We found it after my mom died.
As you can see, I often respond emotionally to what you write – keep up your great blogs!

Reply