Traumatic Memory As It Relates To “Big Bad Brett Kavanaughty”

by Elayne Savage, PhD

 
It’s no wonder there are so many recent reports that childhood, teenage and young adult memories are getting released and reclaimed after we heard Christie Blasey Ford tell her story of sexual assault to the Senate Judiciary Committee.
 
I, too, found myself remembering a long-forgotten scary experience that happened soon after my graduation from college. Now I remember having to muster the strength to push and kick a very large someone away from me. At the time I weighed just under 100 pounds. He was someone I thought of as a friend –– until themoment that he tried to overpower me.
 
I have not remembered this surreal experience in all these years –– until Dr. Ford vividly described how his hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming caused her to think she might stop breathing and die. Yes, I recognize that feeling.
 
I, too, developed ongoing fear of being unable to escape my surroundings. I like to carefully choose where I will sit in restaurants and theaters. I don’t like to shop in crowded stores with narrow aisles. Although my fear used to be pretty debilitating, over the years I’ve learned to handle it better — at least most of the time.
 
Trouble is, I never know when those old memories or fears might pop up again. That’s what hidden memories can do — lie more or less dormant until something happens that reminds us of the early traumatic experience.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
We’re hearing how Dr. Ford’s testimony is eliciting hidden memories for lots of folks. Did you know the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline reports a 338 percent increase in traffic the 3 days following the hearing? And on Friday alone, the day after Dr. Ford told her story, they saw 3,000 calls.

Here’s How Traumatic Memory Works
 
There has been much curiosity from my clients regarding traumatic memory since Dr. Ford’s testimony and her description about how the hippocampus records, stores and processes trauma.
 
In previous blogs I’ve focused on how the brain takes snapshots and encodes certain aspects of what is happening in the moment, for example during a physical or sexual assault. These images may include the placement of furniture in the room, touch, smells and sounds. I often hear clients describe a ticking clock. And many describe not being able to breathe because a hand is over a mouth.
 
And the stress hormones come into play. Adrenaline, norepinephrine  and cortisol are activated by the amygdala and result in fight, flight or freeze reactions.
 
These central (survival) details are imprinted, encoded and put into life-long storage in the neural pathway.  Each new fear-inducing traumatic situation can bring on a kind of PTSD – with renewed spurts of the stress hormones during a new experience, often repeating over the course of our lives
 
Many times we don’t even exactly know what sets it off, but there it is.
 
According to neuroscience the human brain processes, files and stores memories that are linked to strong emotions. The amygdala is the processing center for emotional responses. During a traumatic event it screens the information your five senses take in.
 
Think of it this way: The amygdala time-and-date stamps certain sounds, sights, smells, tastes, and touch and stores it for safe-keeping and the hippocampus is the brain’s memory filing system.
 
When certain powerful memories are triggered by a specific cue there may be an emotional or body reaction. Often we don’t realize what prompts us to get so upset and upon reflection it turns out to be some kind of stored memory,  
 
Why Are Some Memories Vivid and Some Are Hazy
or Non-existent?
 
Here’s the puzzling part for many of us: while certain aspects of the trauma are imprinted on our brain often for the rest of our lives, other aspects may be fuzzy or not remembered at all.
 
We tend to remember the essential, central, survival details, and the peripheral details get filtered out by the brain’s filing system – the hippocampus.
 
So yes, looking at it from a neuroscience perspective, it makes sense that Dr. Ford may not remember the day or date or address of the assault she experienced. Yet she can vividly feel being pushed into the room, notice where the bed is positioned in the room, hear the sound of loud music and their laughter and feel the weight of his body on hers, and his hand over her mouth. It must have been surreal disconcerting for her – as it was for me – to realize the person who is assaulting you is someone you know and trust.
 
In my work as a Child Protective Services Social Worker, trainer of therapists, and practicing psychotherapist focusing on childhood and adult trauma, I have often encountered the complex workings of the brain in processing traumatic events. And as you can tell from the description of my own experiences above, personally as well.
 
It can be immensely upsetting when seemingly out of nowhere there is an unexpected return of the kind of anxiety and panic which had been  experienced during the original event. A name, a smell, a familiar sight can cause the re-experienced memory.
 
It can be disconcerting, confusing, frightening and overwhelming.  We find ourselves back in the fight, flight or freeze mode and those stress hormones kick in again, causing similar anxiety to the original traumatic experience.
 
Fortunately there are ways to deal with these memory intrusions:

I’m a big believer in identifying and putting words to the messages we take in from the original trauma – having to do how we view our world, the safety of our world and the people in it.
 
And I’m a fan of using ways to reprogram the neural pathways:
Neuroplasticity, EMDR and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
are not therapy, but they provide tools to use.
 
Other Kinds of Images
 
For 27 years I’ve been getting weirded out whenever I hear Justice Clarence Thomas’ name or catch a glimpse of him in his black robes. I think about his confirmation hearings and Anita Hill telling the Senators how he asked her: “Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?” My brain seems to have filed those words away.
 
And I can’t help but think about an image of Judge Kavanaugh with his pants down as described by Yale classmate Deborah Ramirez. If he is elevated to the Supreme Court I just may continue to have the that image of him waving his penis at her.  
 
Maybe if I’m lucky my hippocampus and amygdala can work in tandem to block out that yucky image forever.
 
I am wondering if back in those bad ole beer-drinking days someone might have nicknamed him “Bad Brett Kavanaughty.”

I just offered you an overview about how traumatic experiences are processed by the brain.
The links below are some useful articles which can probably answer other questions you may have:
 
How Trauma Affects Memory
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/09/28/652524372/how-trauma-affects-memory-scientists-weigh-in-on-the-kavanaugh-hearing
 
https://theconversation.com/memories-of-trauma-are-unique-because-of-how-brains-and-bodies-respond-to-threat-103725
 
https://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-the-relationship-between-the-amygdala-and-hippocampus.htm
 
How Memories Are Affected by Anniversary Reactions:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-d-erlich-md/grief_b_1164254.html

http://www.tipsfromthequeenofrejection.com/2013/08/my-mother-my-daughter-myself-and-a-powerful-anniversary-reaction.html
 
About the Difference Between Central vs. Peripheral Memory Details
https://beta.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/christine-blasey-ford-s-memories-brett-kavanaugh-are-30-years-ncna913511
 
Leonard Pitt, Jr responding to Congressional Candidate Gina Sosa's comment: “What boy hasn’t done this in high school?”
Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/leonard-pitts-jr/article218995800.html#storylink=cpy
https://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/leonard-pitts-jr/article218995800.html
 
 
© Elayne Savage, PhD
 
Until next month,
 
Signatures:Elayne bold

 
Need help?
If you find yourself encountering newly released memories of sexual assault visit RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Online Hotline or the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.

Or call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.
 
 
 

Elayne Savage is the author of ground-breaking relationship books published in 9 languages.

Both books are now available on Kindle!



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To find out more about my speaking programs, coaching and consultation services visit: //www.QueenofRejection.com or call 510-540-6230 if you or your group can benefit.

Contacting Elayne

I welcome your feedback as well as suggestions for topics you'd like to see addressed in this e-letter.
Here's how you can reach me:
510-540-6230
www.QueenofRejection.com

For more communication and rejection tips, you can follow me:
Twitter@ElayneSavage
LinkedIn.com/in/elaynesavage
Facebook.com/elayne.savage


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Comments

8 responses to “Traumatic Memory As It Relates To “Big Bad Brett Kavanaughty””

  1. Beautifully written Elayne —
    I found myself emotionally hooked as I just now read your words.
    A grabber.

  2. An Appreciative Reader

    Elayne,
    Thanks for this. I’m so much clearer on the reasons for Dr. Ford’s memory gaps. Befor I read this I didn’t understand why she so vividly remembered some details and not others. I sure wish everyone on the Judiciary Committee could read your explanation.

  3. Great article, Elayne.  We certainly are living in strange and frightening times.

  4. Elayne, Thanks for writing this blog.
    I was one of those safe guys. I never even kissed a girl until I was 18, and I had been dating her for three  months. I was even afraid to ask anyone to my high school prom.
    And, on my our second date with the woman who would become my wife, she jumped out of the car in front of the dorm, ran into the dorm and left me sitting there. Not because I tried something, but she said I made her feel as if I did not care for her.  You get my point of how I was.
    On the other hand, there are women who admire the Brett Kavanaugh and Donald Trump type of man. They, like former Florida GOP congressional candidate Gina Sosa, tend to excuse this type of behavior as boys being boys. And I believe many women like Sosa would criticize those like me for being too nice, or even refer to us as wimps.
    I see Kavanaugh as a rich, entitled hard drinking and hard partying frat boy. And guilty of the accusations. I was in a frat in college, and we all are not like that, but I remember some who were.   

  5. Hi Elayne,
    This triggered memories of being accused and punished for things I didn’t do. It also reminded me that ten years ago a friend of mine from high school, was the victim on Facebook of the worst false accusation. I knew that these charges were baseless, but it was an assassination of his character that could not be erased.
    Labels like ‘Big Bad Brett Kavanaugh’ really disturb me as well. He has served on the second highest court and was called your honor. He was questioned as though he was still 17. He may or may not have done something to Dr. Ford when he was 17. After so many FBI investigations and being given the highest security clearance, he is being investigated and his high school yearbook is being used as a CV.
    I am 70 and experienced the sexual revolution when women discovered casual sex. I would hate to have a job interview where my life as a single woman in New York City was investigated.
    I am very sympathetic to women who have been sexually abused however women should not be a special class to be weaponized against men. We don’t need more movements or causes.
    I worry that women who have had a traumatic sexual encounter can be exploited for political purposes. Lately, it is profitable to be a victim of anything and raise so much money on a Gofundme site.

  6. Colette Cammisa MFT

    Elayne,
    Thank you for the clear explanations of how trauma is processed in the brain.
    Your explanations will help my clients understand these processes in a more simple straight forward way.
    Colette Cammisa MFT

  7. Elayne, thank you so much for all of this good information on traumatic memory. This will be so useful for my clients.
    Amazing, isn’t it, how so many previously unavailable memories have been stirred after these courageous women stepped forward with their stories from high school and college.

  8. This is one of your best ever blogs. It helps me make sense of my own early experiences.
    Thanks for writing this!

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Elayne Savage is the author of ground-breaking relationship books published in 9 languages.


To find out more about Elayne’s speaking programs, coaching and consultation services visit www.QueenofRejection.com or call 510-540-6230 if you or your group can benefit. 

Book cover for Don't Take It Personally! The Art of Dealing with Rejection by Elayne Savage, Ph.D.

Don’t Take It Personally: The Art of Dealing with Rejection

Wouldn’t it be great to not be so sensitive to words, looks, or tones of voice? This thoughtful, good-humored book explores the many forms of rejection and how to overcome the fear of it. Learn dependable tools for stepping back from these overwhelming feelings.

Book cover for Breathing Room by Elayne Savage, Ph.D.

Breathing Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple

Expectations and disappointments, style differences, and hidden agendas lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Before you know it, anger and resentment build up, taking up all the space. You’ll learn how to make room for the respect and connection you hope for.