By Elayne Savage, PhD
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'The Epidemic of Loneliness' has been a popular topic lately.
Research and Reports and Stories and Books and Blogs and Podcasts — Oh my.
For Example:
From NPR: America has a loneliness epidemic. Here are 6 steps to address it.
https://www.npr.org/2023/05/02/1173418268/loneliness-connection-
As a psychotherapist and workplace coach, I have a front row seat to hearing stories about struggles with loneliness –– and it’s frequent companion, hopelessness.
Remember how hard it was to feel connected to others during our
Co-vid restrictions!
And many of us are still struggling with missing a feeling of connection and feeling lonely.
Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy said loneliness can impact people in a variety of ways, so understanding the signs is the first step to addressing it:
"Some people react to loneliness by withdrawing and getting quiet. Others react to loneliness by becoming irritable and angry, and they may lash out more," he said. "That's why sometimes it takes a little time to really reflect on what's happening in our life. And sometimes we need somebody else to tell us, 'Hey, you've been withdrawing more' to help us understand that we might actually be dealing with loneliness."
I recently sold my house in Berkeley where I have lived for over 50 (!) years. I moved to Rossmoor, an 1800 acre over-55 senior community.
Unpacking a gazillion boxes, even with my daughter and granddaughter’s amazing help, was overwhelming.
Even with often seeing Berkeley area friends and making new friends here, sometimes I feel kinda lonely.
A Smile and a Nod and a Hello
It was refreshing to be reminded of a simple behavior I actually used to do many years ago – but somehow as life got busy, it fell by the wayside.
A Smile and a Nod and a Hello
Numerous studies in recent years warn of the mental and physical dangers of loneliness –– especially for Seniors.
Dr. Murthy told All Things Considered:
"In the last few decades, we've just lived through a dramatic pace of change. We move more, we change jobs more often, we are living with technology that has profoundly changed how we interact with each other and how we talk to each other.
Lottye Clayton who I recently “met” when she posted on Next Door about her recent experience, has an incredibly wise and simple answer for feeling connected to others: A Smile and a Nod and a Hello…
I’m grateful to Lottye for giving me permission to share her story with you.
A Smile and a Nod and a Hello
From Lottye:
“Just feel the need to share: Alone, this morning at a breakfast restaurant and feeling alone, I was so uplifted when a young boy who appeared to be "middle" school age, following his family to the table next to mine, nodded his head toward me, smiling, to acknowledge my presence.
I was impressed and admired him for his friendliness. Later, his mother, I assumed, made eye contact with me and said, "How are you this morning." I replied, and thanked her. She continued, "We have a lovely day today." I agreed.
I sat there thinking about her son whose friendly gesture had so impressed me. Maybe he learned this human kindness from his Mom.
How little energy it takes to just acknowledge another person's humanity by a smile or a friendly nod, as this young boy did.
I greatly appreciated both the boy and his mom who helped me to feel less alone.”
–– Lottye Clayton
Notice how Lottye’s uplifting story says it all: It's all about feeling connected! … and eye contact works wonders for helping someone feel great.
Sharing a smile is an easy way to brighten someone’s day. And because smiles are ‘catching’ it will probably brighten your day as well.
There have been a multitude of terrible things going on in the world, much of it wrapped in disrespect of other human beings.
I’m grateful to Lottye for sharing her story of respect and connection – and HOPE . . .
© Elayne Savage, PhD
Until next month, Elayne
Elayne Savage is the author of ground-breaking relationship books published in 9 languages. Both books are now available on Kindle!
To order DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! THE ART OF DEALING WITH REJECTION from Amazon:
amzn.to/2bEGDqu
To order BREATHING ROOM – CREATING SPACE TO BE A COUPLE from Amazon:
amzn.to/2bAHmIL
REPRINTING THESE BLOGS: You can reprint any blog from 'Tips from The Queen of Rejection'® as long as you include an attribution and, whenever possible, a live link to my website. And I'd really appreciate if you'd notify me where and when the material will appear. The attribution should include this information: Elayne Savage, PhD is a communication coach, keynote speaker, and trainer, practicing psychotherapist and author of Don't Take It Personally! The Art of Dealing with Rejection and Breathing Room – Creating Space to Be a Couple.
To find out more about my speaking programs, coaching and consultation services visit: //www.QueenofRejection.com or call 510-540-6230 if you or your group can benefit.
CONTACTING ELAYNE
I welcome your feedback as well as suggestions for topics you'd like to see addressed in this e-letter. Here's how you can reach me:
510-540-6230
www.QueenofRejection.com
elayne@QueenofRejection.com
For more communication and rejection tips, you can follow me:
Twitter@ElayneSavage
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